Insomniac Cinema: Top Gun

Fuck you, scene kids.

You and your hip senses of humor, your ability to laugh at and mock anything with a sincere thought behind it...you ruined Jurassic Park for me because you love to laugh at Jeff Goldblum so much and yell unfunny things at the screen. Jeff Goldblum was the best part about that movie, you idiots!!

And when a movie that all but requires your presence--Top Gun--is showing, do you turn out in droves to make fun of Tom Cruise's attempts at crying, the horrendously dated 80s soundtrack, and the gay--not just homoerotic, but GAY--themes in the movie? No. You stay home. You let a classic opportunity slip by.

Fuckers.

IN OTHER NEWS:
This coming Monday is National Talk Like A Pirate Day. Plan accordingly.